Killcat.com Website End-User License Agreement
The
Contents
of this website represent an original, proprietary, copyrighted work of art.
License Terms for EVERYONE except "DigitalConvergence.com Gang":
Everyone,
EXCEPT FOR the "DigitalConvergence.com Gang"
(as defined below)
,
is hereby granted license to use said
Contents
for
any purpose what-so-f**king-ever, without agreeing to anything.
:License :Terms :for :the ":Digital:Convergence.:com :Gang" :ONLY:
":Digital:Convergence.:com :Gang" :means :Digital:Convergence.:com,
:its :employees,
:contractors,
:consultants,
:lawyers,
:hired-:guns,
:software :agents,
:evil :robots,
:corporate :officers
:or :any :person :or :entity :acting :on :behalf :of :or :in :association :with
:Digital:Convergence.:com.
:Aw, :hell, :this :applies :to :anyone :associated :with :Microsoft, :the :MPAA :or :the :RIAA, :too.
:If :you :are a :member :of :the ":Digital:Convergence.:com :Gang" :as :defined :above, :you :must :agree :to :the
:following :terms :and :conditions :before :using :or :viewing :said :Contents.
:You :signify :your :agreement :by :performing :ANY :OF :THE :FOLLOWING :ACTIONS:
(1) :Viewing :any :other :page :of :the :killcat :website;
(2) :Clicking :an "I :agree" :link :below; :or
(3) :Even
:thinking
:about :doing :one :of :those :two :things.
:License :Terms :for :the ":Digital:Convergence.:com :Gang" :ONLY:
- :You :agree :the :Contents :are :proprietary :and :copyrighted. :You :are
:permitted :only :to :VIEW :the :Contents :in :the :context :of :the :killcat
:website. :You :may :not :reproduce :any :part :of :the :Contents :in :any :form.
:In :any :case, :any :copies :you :may :make :are :owned :by :killcat,
:including :copies :stored :in :any :computer(s) :or :any :brain(s) :you :may :possess.
- :You :agree :the :Contents :are :only :on :loan :to :you :and :may :be :recalled :AT :ANY :TIME. :You :agree :to :surrender :any :storage :media :containing :the :Contents, :including :any :hard-:drive(s), :computer(s), :network :backup :tape(s), :magnetic :media, :CD-:ROM(s) :or :brain(s) :you :may :possess.
- :For :the :purpose :of :random :compliance :inspections, :you :agree :to :allow :access :to :any :locations :where :the :Contents :are :stored, :including :your :or :your :spouses :office(s), :home(s), :vehicle(s) :and :body-:cavities.
- :Access :to :the :Contents :is :controlled :via :our :Pathetic :URL :Encryption. :You :understand :that :any :attempt :to :circumvent :this :Pathetic :access :control :is a :violation :of :the :Digital :Millenium :Copyright :Act (DMCA)
:and :is a :federal :crime. (oooh!)
- :You :agree :any :harm :arising :out :of :viewing :or :using :the :Contents :are :entirely :your :fault :and :responsibility, :including :but :not :limited :to :belly-:laugh, :split :sides, :seizures :or :stroke.
- :You :agree :not :to :disassemble :or :reverse-:engineer :the :Contents. :In :fact, :you :agree :not :to :form :ANY :creative :insights :IN :ANY :WAY :stimulated :by :the :Contents :but :instead :to :merely :let :the :Contents :sit :in :your :mind :like a :indigestible :lump :of :mental-:gristle.
- :In :any :event, :you :agree :any :insights, :knowledge, :thoughts :or :discoveries :you :make :or :have :AFTER :the :first :viewing :or :use :of :the :Contents :are :partially :or :fully :influenced :by :the :Contents :and :as :such :are :the :proprietary :and :confidential :information :of :killcat, :and :you :agree :to :communicate :such :insights, :knowledge, :thoughts :or :discoveries :to :catlover :as :soon :as :they :are :produced :or :discovered :and :to :assign :any :related :patents :or :copyrights :to :killcat.
- :You :agree :that :XORing :and :UUENCODED :string :only :consistutes :an :encryption :method :if :your :adversaries :are 3rd :grade :children.
- :You :agree :to :forfeit :your :immortal :soul, :your :first-:born :child :and :one :pint :of :blood :to :killcat :or :its :assignee(s) :if :you :violate :any :provisions :of :this :agreement. :And :any :brain(s) :you :may :possess.
- :Finally, :you :agree :to :answer :our :Demographic :Survey :before :viewing :or :using :the :Contents. :The :data :you :enter :is :confidential :and :private, :HOWEVER, :you :understand :that :we :cannot :be :held :responsible :for :negligence, :incompetence :or :deliberate :malice :and :may, :for :instance, :sell :your :personal :data :to :the :highest :bidder.
- :Oh :yeah, :ONE :MORE :THING: :You :understand :that :the :penalty :for ":Excessive :Colonization" :is :to :have a :Cue:Cat :shoved :up :your :colon :-)
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:killcat :Demographic :Survey
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